Update

Sorry it's been over a week since I have been on here. Things have been so hectic with work and kids and other personal things that I just haven't been able to gather all my thoughts. I am not sure I can now! ha!

We had a meeting at school last Monday. It went great! Nothing was mentioned about not letting Peyton stay in school. I was so worried that it was going to come down to that. I explained everything to the Principal about his diagnosis and she is very willing to help out in anyway so that Peyton can adjust to the school setting and schedules. She had lots of good ideas and so did Mrs. Johnson, Peyton's teacher. She started a reward chart for him. Everytime he did what she asked of him and he followed instructions and didn't run away or beat his head on anything he would get a sticker. When he filled up all the spots on his chart he could get a reward. He filled up all 10 spots in 3 days!! He had some very good days last week!

One thing that we decided to do to help Peyton is too have his lunch tray waiting for him at the lunch table in the same spot everyday. The Cafeteria is one of the places that trigger his meltdowns. He would have to make decidions and it was very overwhelming for him and a sensory overload. By doing this he has not had a meltdown in the cafeteria. HE has been smiling and kind of eating. I am very excited about the progress he made last week. Friday was the only day that he had a major fit. IT was very bad. I picked him up from school and he was hysterical because he didn't get a whistle like the other kids did. He got his reward the day before and didn't understand. It took me and his Mrs. Johnson to get him in his carseat and it was tough. He turns into He Man when he has these tantrums. Very strong. HE bit himself, and now has bruises from it and he unbuckled himself from his carseat and tried to get out the car while it was moving. DO you know how hard it is to hold a 4 year old and drive at the same time while he is in the floorboard in the back? Not fun!!! He did settle down and stayed in a good mood the rest of the evening.

I noticed this weekend that his OCD behavior is getting bad again. When he first started his Risperdal they weren't as bad but now the behavior is starting back up. His tantrums are starting to become more frequent and the severity of them is where it was before. He was able to calm himself a week and 1\2 ago but now there starting again. He did this for hrs yesterday. It was really becoming unbearable. I feel so bad because he doesn't hear or get what I am saying to him. He repeats himself over and over. He never stops. This goes on for hrs and ends up in some sort of crying fit. On Sunday I just wanted to scream and run and hide myself. I feelt like such a bad mom. I get so irritated with it and I know he can't help it. It can be very overwhelming at times.

The Dr. increased his meds today so this weekend when I pick them up we will see if that works. I am hoping that eventually he will be stable on a dose and we will be able to keep him there for awhile instead of tweaking and waiting. I know it's all trial and error and he is going to have good and bad days. Don't we all? I just can't imagine what it feels like to a 4 year old to have to deal with the change and stress of everyday activities. I wish I could be in his head to see what he sees and how he feels and what sets him off. I sure love that little guy!!!

Have a great week everybody.

Good Night,

PDD/Asperger's Syndrome

Well, we have an official diagnosis that makes much more sense to me and this was my gut feeling all along. Not that I want my son to be labeled or that I just went around trying to get a Dr. to diagnosis him with something I liked or felt he had, but because I have known deep down for a couple of years that something wasn't right, but like all momma's, I didn't want to think that there was really something wrong with my child. Everyone was quick to tell me that it was his age, he was a boy or it was his hair color! Ok, so red heads are known for their fiery temper, but this was a baby that was happy and content and never cried or made a fuss over anything until he was 18 months. It seems like that is when everything changed. I thought he was heading into the Terrile 2's early. So with this diagnosis comes alot of relief in a sense. We now know what the problem is and we can now learn how to manage/cope with it. WHen I say we, I am talking about me, his dad, sister, grandparents, TEACHERS and anyone else that will be playing a big role in Peyton's life. It is important that everyone is on the same page and willing to learn the skills needed to help Peyton and prepare yourself for the major meltdowns that you do not know are coming. Just like the incident in the cafeteria last week. He couldn't make a decision on his drink for lunch in the cafeteria, resulted in a major melt down and he ended up under the table for lunch, or when he dropped his straw on the floor and got so upset that he started beating his head on the table, which resulted in a big knot and bruise on his head. Little things set him off, things that normally would not another kid. I do have to say that Friday Peyton had a better day, better than most. I think since his teacher and I both know what the problem is now and we can look back and see somethings that would have caused some of his meltdowns and do something different that we might be able to move forward a little bit. The main objective right now is to get Peyton adjusted to school and his surroundings. For some reason the cafeteria is a place that triggers alot of this meltdowns and he either hides under the table or he runs to his classroom. I am meeting with his teacher and the prinicipal on Monday morning to discuss his diagnosis and determine where to go from here. I feel like if we give him a chance after knowing what we know and learnign what we can he is going to be alright and be able to stay in his regular class with just a few modifications. He likes school and he LOVES Mrs. Johnson. I do too!!! We have been very blessed to have her in our life at this time. We are all learning together. I have had so many emails and phone calls regarding Peyton and his diagnosis that is overwhelming and I plan on getting back with each and everyone of you that has contacted me. I appreciate it so much!!
I know that Peyton will overcome this and it will just be one of the many things that he will accomplish in his life.

The weekend has been good. Peyton has laughed and played and even seemed to control some of his tempers that could have easily been a catastrophe. He went to a friend's birthday party yesterday and he smiled and played with some of his classmates and his cousin. He got a little upset that he coudln't go in the house and play with the toys so his mood just went down from there. It was also hot and he was getting tired but he did great! He wanted to go to duckwall's and we had to hear about that for hours, the repetitive thing he does, drives me crazy. I have been trying to talk about something else with him or start playing a game or distract him so he can get his mind off of it. UM, didn't work so much, but it might in time, I will just keep doing it.
He went with his sister to ride bikes yesterday evening and he wanted to go see our dear friend Manish. Manish wasn't home and Peyton would not follow Ali back to the house so I ended up having to go pick him up in the car. He was very easily redirected when I got him in the car. I talked to him in a calm voice and explained the situation to him and wiped his face with a cool rag and set him down with a drink and said he needed to refocus and calm down. It worked! This is an situation that in the past he cried for 3 hrs over!! Now, he did end up asking about duckwalls again for the millionith time! Baby steps right? Ha!

He started on Respridal on Thursday evening. I gave him one then and one Friday night and I increased it Sat. to twice a day. It seems to be working. He didn't want to take it last night so after we tried and tried and he was being stubborn I told him he had to go sit in his room and when he decided he wanted to take it he could come out. Well he started beating his head on the wall and it was hard!! I went to him and told him that he was going to hurt the wall and his head so he didn't need to do that. He didn't do it again. Usually, he would beat his head, rip things off his wall, throw anything he could find at the bedroom door ,scream, hit himself and do this for hours while in the meantime trying to keep him from hurting himself. Praise God that wasn't the case last night. yea!! When he came out his room he asked for his fridge radio, It's a radio that plays all kinds of songs on there in relation to the ABC's and 123's. THere is this one song on there that we both giggle at when we hear it. He wanted me to play it, so I did. I saw the most beautifuls smile and his little face lit up and i heard the most beautiful sound to a mother's ears, his laugh.. a big belly laugh. He then grabbed my face in his tiny hands and said, " I will take my pill now". Made me smile... I know there are going to be good days and bad days and we still have a long road in front of us, but, If you want to see a rainbow you gotta stand a little rain. So just like the Song that Mercy Me sings, Jesus bring the rain.

Have a great Sunday!!!

Dr. Appt.

Tomorrow I am taking Peyton to Dr. Brinkman in Abilene. He is a NeuroPsychologist. Things seem to be getting worse especially at school. He is immature for his age I know but he needs to be given a chance. I think the school is gonna tell me that he doesn't need to be there. That makes me sad. I know that we may not get a definite answer or a confirmed diagnosis tomorrow but more testing is going to be done.. I also need someone to tell me how you deal with whatever this is because I have no clue what to do. Prayers are Welcomed!!!

I will update tomorrow!!!


Good Night,

Pat-A-Cake

Today I sent Peyton to school without giving him his medication for ADHD. I was experimenting LOL!! Needless to say it didn't go as I had envisioned. = ) Hitting kids and totally out of control. Yesterday he got upset because he dropped his straw on the floor in the cafeteria, so he beat his head on the table and has a nice knot on it.

I know that from the outside looking in it would seem as though he is just a brat and you are wondering why I don't spank him or discipline him more. But I do! it makes it worse!
He is the most precious little boy and He is so brilliant! One minute he makes me just wanna scream and pull my hair out and then like today, he can melt my heart...

I am not convinced that there is not something else besides bipolar. Gut feeling...

Do you know what it feels like to not wanna go out to eat or to a ball game or the mall or Wal Mart with your own kid because you have no clue how he is going to act or what is going to send him into a tail spin?? ANd people just stare at you when he does have a melt down?? I wish i knew what to do. What I do know is that I love this little boy and I am not givng up on him.

This makes me cry while I type this, but today after just wanting to pull my hair out outta frustration with him he starts singin Pat-A- Cake. I know to most that seems like nothing, But what you don't know is that I tried endlessly to get him to sing that with me and do they hand gestures with me when he was a baby and never ever could get him to do it. Today was the first time I have ever heard him sing it... at 4 years old. He didn't even start singing any song until he was 3 1/2. I just bawled!!

After hearing that sweet little voice sing that song it made everything else seem small.

Good Night,

Hoping for a sunny day tomorrow with a 0% chance of storms...

This week has got to be better...Right?

We are off the Trileptal!!! OMG! That was AWFUL!!! It made Peyton's moods 10X worse! WOW!! I was beginning to think that my child was possesed! ha! just Kidding... ok, maybe I'm not! ; )

The first 3 weeks of school have come and gone and I have gotten a phone call or email everyday so far and he had to be picked up early one day for kicking and hitting the sub. It took two teachers to calm him down.

One of the things a Bipolar kid cannot do is "switch gears" very well. Transitioning from one task to the next is hard for him and He does not do well with loud noises and big spaces. He spent the first few days of school sitting under the tables in the classroom crying. I can't tell you how much that hurt my heart. I have cried more than I like too these past few weeks. Kids and parents looking and pointing at him. He was terrified!

Peyton has these fits that are also known as " mood storms". He will be in a very good mood ( a high) and then in an instant be in a low mood and this is where he "checks" out as I like to say. He says he is scared and will scream and hit himself in the head, throw things, tear things up and kick and you cannot control him. These can last hours! When he is done he has no recollection of what happened. These happen very unexpectedly and are VERY exhausting to say the least.

Dr. Roger's wants to start him on a new medication. I hope that will help. I have read and researched for hours on this disorder and it seems that it is going to be alot of trial and error trying to get the right medication to stabilize him. Tomorrow morning I am taking him to get bloodwork done. In all my researching I have read that sometimes underlying health issues can make the symptoms worse or mimic bipolar symptoms. I will try anything at this point.

I have some other " ideas" on what might be going on but I will talk about that later.

On a good note.... we had a good day yesterday without any "storms". The only one we had was actually weather related.

August 18 - Yet another Diagnosis

The Medication that Peyton is on for his ADHD is amazing!! You can have an actual conversation with him and understand what he is saying and he isn'tclimbing on you while talking. Conversations with Peyton can be really frustrating. I am sure it has been just as frustrating for him. I have had this feeling that there is something else going on. I have had a couple of Dr.'s mention Autism so I took him to Lubbock to see Dr. Roger's, a child behaviorial therapist that was highly recommended.

The diagnosis, Bipolar Disorder. Not what I was expecting. I guess I can see where that could be the issue. No parent wants a Label put on their kid and mine has 4?????

He was given the medication Trileptal. We would know in 7 days if it would work or not.

We go back in Nov.

Here goes nothing!!!

Update

For those of you who do not know Peyton or have had not had the pleasure of being around Peyton, he is a very busy boy who is full of life! He loves lizards, dinosaurs, sharks and oatmeal pies. His energy and zest for life is neverending... and I'm not even kidding. In the past few months he has been diagnosed with mild ADHD, OCD and sensory Integration Dysfunction ( sid). He is currently on medication for ADHD.

He had been going to WTRC for speech, and during the summer he was dismissed because the Therapist decided his vocabulary was amazing and all he really needed to do was slow it down some. We decided to keep him in OT for his sensory issues but that was short lived. I had this feeling that something was just not right. If you are a parent then you know what that feeling is and you will go above and beyond to the end of the earth if need be.

This is our journey.